i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
