Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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