once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
MIDGETS
????
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
