Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
