Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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