My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
