will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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