so explain again why im purple
no
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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