Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  ok i said sorry. what else do you want?

  (740): View more from Ohio

  100 blowjobs

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  (216): ok i said sorry. what else do you want? (740): 100 blowjobs http://tfl.nu/an0u
  Replies (14) Good night (2167) Bad night (696)
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  (415): View more from California

  if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?

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  (415): if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me? http://tfl.nu/n53h
  Replies (90) Good night (942) Bad night (10380)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap

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  (425): Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap http://tfl.nu/z2b9
  Replies (18) Good night (5455) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  I respect that

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  (508): I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice (1-508): I respect that http://tfl.nu/enis
  Replies (53) Good night (9878) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number

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  (617): i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number http://tfl.nu/mfjx
  Replies (14) Good night (7017) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.

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  (865): It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14. http://tfl.nu/nc65
  Replies (8) Good night (3975) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.

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  (617): Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened. http://tfl.nu/s0za
  Replies (12) Good night (942) Bad night (3434)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips

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  (253): I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips http://tfl.nu/j5et
  Replies (4) Good night (1665) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.

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  (604): After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me. http://tfl.nu/m19j
  Replies (5) Good night (1673) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha

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  (817): your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha http://tfl.nu/t468
  Replies (8) Good night (2184) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.

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  (217): We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater. http://tfl.nu/r45m
  Replies (4) Good night (1688) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?

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  (209): I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry? http://tfl.nu/5luf
  Replies (15) Good night (611) Bad night (1497)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door

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  (775): He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door http://tfl.nu/vv4w
  Replies (13) Good night (620) Bad night (1896)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!

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  (702): But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder! http://tfl.nu/rxkw
  Replies (12) Good night (1154) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?

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  (317): What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom? http://tfl.nu/z0d3
  Replies (6) Good night (304) Bad night (872)

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