I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
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New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
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Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.