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The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
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