Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.