talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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