I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
