Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
