you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
