Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
