What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
