Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
