wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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