Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
