Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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