he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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