Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
