I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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