pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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