HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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