I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
