operation harelip BJ is a go
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
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I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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