Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i think im in europe. pls send help
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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