you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
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He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
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That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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