I'm really into asian looking animals
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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