I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize