Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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