new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
