I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
