i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
