ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
