ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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