The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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