his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize