before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
