Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
