i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
