btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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