there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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