do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Are we still banned from the library?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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