all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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