the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize