Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
