she kept yelling 'call me bella'
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
