I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
