is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
