I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It was confusing and full of hummus
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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