how can u be prego again
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
