dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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