So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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