your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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