We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
