I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
