I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
