i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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