One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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