So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
