Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
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My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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