So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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