Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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