hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
