Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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