stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
