Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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