you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
