Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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