I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
