Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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