Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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